Ever and ever...

There is clarity that comes through pain. I've stumbled upon it a couple of times. Everythings broken...you long to fix it...something comes along to mend it...but it only breaks you more and makes you realize that you werent as badly broken as you thought you were to begin with. Theres only a crack there now...same as everyone else.

I've done a decent job at picking myself up and dusting myself off. There are those times though that I wonder when Ill get help up instead of being left for the next good samaritan. Friends have been great...family has been good too...but I just want something with a different substance.

I got a message two days ago. Someone I never thought I would hear from again. Someone I wish I hadn't heard from. I was doing so well...I still am...but it still gives me imagery to think on. I'm better this way...I know it, you know it. Theres not a question as to how I should respond. I shouldn't.

This heart on my sleeve hasn't held up well. I've been kind of forced to change its location. Theres an answer there somewhere...He'll bring it. Maybe I'm not ready...maybe I'm being stopped so something doesn't happen again...another blast I wont be able to recover from for awhile...